I would agree with you but then we would both be wrong.

“Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go”.

I kept having to go back to a hardware store because I kept buying the wrong part for my project. The old man at the register who’d previously checked me out said, your twin brother was in here earlier and he didn’t know what he was doing either.

It is situational but: "I can only explain it to you, I can't understand it for you".

Had a Scottish friend who described someone as "multitalentless". Was excellent with the accent.

You are the reason toothpaste needs instructions.

You are the human equivalent of a pop-up ad.

You’re not even smart enough to realize how dumb you are.

You are not the dumbest person on the planet but you better hope that he doesn't die.

You're about as welcome as a warm seat in a public toilet.

My mom always taught me not to argue with an idiot. They'll bring you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

I envy people who dont know you.

You sure talk a lot for someone that doesn’t say much.

My mother likes to say “it doesn’t matter what you think, you’ll be dead soon!” to old people - she’s in her 60’s. I enjoy it.

You probably dip your Oreos in water, because your dad never came back with milk.

Please receive, sir, my most sincere indifference.

Nothing brightens my day more than your absence.

You're like the end pieces of a loaf of bread, everyone touches you but nobody wants you.

Your grades say “marry rich”, but your looks say “keep studying.”

You're hard to ignore, but well worth the effort.

You should carry around a potted plant to make up for the air you waste.

It must be a relief to not have been overly burdened with the gift of intelligence.

If your brains were dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.

If you took an IQ test, it would come back negative.

I bet you're the worst part of somebody's day.

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.

I was playing video games and had a teammate who wasn’t really playing together with me so I had tried to get him to re-group. Admittedly, I did not speak in the most polite way possible but he stopped and wrote “your voice does not inspire leadership”, and then he left the game. The one and only time I was actually offended by someone’s words over a video game.

One time I watched this girl flirting with this guy at a bar in New York. He had been talking about his cool job and how great he was and she just fawned over him. At one point he took a break from talking and she asked him for a cigarette. Without missing a beat he said "ew, how middle class..." She was mortified and he instantly stopped talking to her and moved on to her friend.

Everybody was right about you.

You're a murderer and a thief. You murdered a baboon and stole its face.